Episode 060 | The One with Pastor Mark Driscoll
Pastor Mark Driscoll joins the show to talk through some off-topic questions with the crew. Listen in as Pastor Matt, Pastor Mark, Justin and Stephanie talk through gender roles, how to have a more interactive relationship with God and what to do when you act on bad advice.
On this episode, another chair and microphone is added to the table as our guest spot is filled by none other than Pastor Mark Driscoll, who recently planted The Trinity Church in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Taking advantage of having two pastors ready and willing to answer any tough question sent their way, this episode pulls in several off-topic questions starting off strong with a real discussion about gender and whether the differences between men and women are learned or taught. And what those differences mean for our roles in relationships, work and life.
As part of the discussion on gender, Pastor Mark shares how he navigated his newly found Christian worldview as a college student at a state school. Both Pastor Mark and Pastor Matt share ways to know if the teaching you’re hearing - whether it’s at school or at church - is on the right track or not and what to do when someone drops the “God told me” card.
The conversation continues with a more practical question about how to teach your kids about gender without overly elevating gender stereotypes, but also not ignoring the fact that boys and girls will need to be raised differently.
Moving on to the topic of marriage, the crew discusses the roles of husbands and wives and how to know if you’re right and your spouse really is crazy - or if maybe it’s the other way around.
The discussion wraps up with a somewhat brutally honest answer to a question about whether or not you’re responsible for acting on the advice of your spiritual mentor - especially when it turns out to be incorrect.
This Week's Topics
Some have argued that the differences between males and females are stereotypes that were developed through observation. What does the Bible say about the differences between men and women? Are they innate?
Culture is a reflection of nature, not the other way around. There are fundamental differences between men and women. As Christians, the Bible shapes our worldview; teaching us who we are, where we are going and why we are here. Gender is a real thing, and the Bible teaches us that. Genesis says “he created them male and female”. We have to make a choice if we are going to separate what we hear in classes, media or culture from the truth of the Bible. And if we come to conclusions about what we see in the Bible that no one else has come to in thousands of years of study, we might be coming to a conclusion that isn’t true.
What exactly does God intend to accomplish in us specifically as men and women based on how he designed us to be?
Men should lead, protect and love their families; having their well-being at heart. They should learn to communicate their hearts to their families as the Lord has communicated his love for people. Women connect with the heart of God by listening, caring and serving. They are a beautiful reflections of the glory and goodness of God, and have a self-sacrificing nature. Men should seek wise counsel from their wives because God uses women’s discerning spirits to speak wisdom into their husbands. Women should also seek counsel from their husbands in areas where they lack wisdom. We should stop wrestling over the differences of our spouses and instead embrace them, and if we are single we should seek wise counsel from elder believers in our church regarding the roles we should play as a man or woman in the church.
How can we make our overall relationship with God more interactive?
Many of us anticipate hearing an audible voice from God as the key way of interacting with him. But the times when that happens in the Bible are rare and extraordinary moments that are highlighted for a reason, not because they are the norm. If we read God’s word then we have heard from God. The Holy Spirit can lead, direct and speak to us, however the primary way that God speaks to us is through the Bible and his church. The way that God hears from us is through our prayers.
God is interactive in our lives and the promise of Jesus is that he will be with us. We should be still, stop, and take time to listen to God. We shouldn’t solely pursue a sensation or experience, in fact the bible says that “a wicked and adulterous generation seeks for a sign.” God’s people shouldn’t chase signs and wonders, but signs and wonders should follow God’s people as they chase God. Our relationship with God is similar to marriage, it is about doing life together, and when we mature in the Lord we learn that being in his presence is sufficient.
I feel I minimize what my wife is saying to try and keep the situation from getting out of hand. How did you stop minimizing what your wife was saying? How do you respond if what she is saying really is not true?
Listening and calmly trying to handle the situation while trying to hear our spouse’s heart is going to be better for everyone. Before believers talk about anything, they should pray about everything. We should be praying both for our spouse and with our spouse. Prayer is not where we change God’s mind, it is where God changes our heart. It is not to benefit God, it is to benefit us. The couple who prays together tends to end up at the same decision.
There are three kinds of people wise, foolish and evil, and we should ask which one we are being in any given situation. The Bible says that we should take the log out of our own eye before we look at the speck in our friend’s eye. In marriage we should practice this principle and look for the truth in what our spouse is saying and question our own intentions when we disagree.
Was I in the wrong, or is it a sin, to judge people based on what I was told by someone I trusted?
Jesus’ critics said that he was a demon-possessed alcoholic and he obviously wasn’t that. Often, we tend to present our enemies on their worst day, and our friends on their best day, and as mentors or leaders we should guard our hearts and not let our hurt turn into hate. Instead, we should remember that love covers a multitude of sins, and be careful in how we are presenting people, and consider what our intentions are when we want to present people in a negative light.
If we hold leaders up to a standard of perfection it is easy to criticize. But there is no benefit in criticizing and hurting others, we will only hurt ourselves in doing this. We should remember that most of the time our criticisms have to do with us and not the person we are criticizing.
More resources from Pastor Mark Driscoll at markdriscoll.org